May 17

Asian Beauty by Igor AmelkovichCan you imagine the capitals or countries of Asia as women? No? That is what blogger Indcoup did recently. What a funny idea! But it gets better. Why not start with that and add the vitae of more and other visited places? Here is how it goes – read on:

“I think it would help to imagine Jakarta as some sort of a woman. And in that case I reckon that despite being a bit low in the IQ department, painstakingly slow at doing anything and a compulsive chain smoker to boot – you’d still be drawn to her more positive attributes like her deep cleavage, long jet black hair and happy-go-lucky attitude.

Certainly a lot better than Miss Singapore, who although immaculately presented is strangely lacking in any sex appeal whatsoever. Miss Malaysia, meanwhile, is a frumpy bespectacled bore who likes to cover up – but quite in contrast to her northern neighbor Miss Thailand, who although she’ll do anything for foreigners will only do it for the money.

Of the others, Miss Cambodia is too young and undeveloped to even consider (although some like Gary Glitter might think otherwise), while messing around with either Miss Myanmar or Miss Vietnam could get you in trouble with the authorities. A bit further afield, Miss Japan may be clean as a whistle but she’s also very expensive, while Miss Korea is noted for her nationalism and is only interested in one-night stands.”

I couldn’t agree more! But how about Miss Brunei? From my perspective she is the younger sister bore of Miss Malaysia, although her aspiration is to catch up with Miss Singapore, even though that goal doesn’t seem achievable in both their life time. All in all, she is more a midget type of gal, a bit quiet with words as well.

Miss Laos is an unspoilt and innocent beauty, ready to please the Lonely Wanderer with nature, food and other pleasures – but in a shy way.

Nobody has mentioned Miss Philippines yet; which is quite obvious to me. Even though she is truly the village beauty, she is rarely in someones focus, as usually somewhere around town, off the beaten track. But if you catch her and spend some time with her, you surely won’t regret it.

With Miss China, that would be a hit or miss scenario. Although she is quite obnoxious, noisy and lacks a bit of personal hygiene, clogging her body with all kinds of vices, she can be an interesting to explore, when having more time at hand. Her sibling Miss Hong Kong only recently came back to the family, after living a quite colonial and luxurious life style. Let’s see if the downsizing will do her any good in the long run. Either way, it’s up to you to decide.

Has anyone experiences with Miss Tibet, Miss India or Miss Pakistan? Bangladesh anyone? Fiji?

Hah – and I just noticed I left out Miss Australia. While I’m not sure, if Australia understands herself as part of Asia, who can help out with describing her? ;-)

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written by Chris

3 Responses to “If Asia were a Woman…”

  1. dodong floresNo Gravatar PHILIPPINES Says:

    Interesting article, Chris. I share reading this with my companions here…

  2. Steve TennantNo Gravatar CANADA Says:

    I’ve been to most of those countries recently and agree with the analysis. The strangest I found personally was India. I suddenly realized after three weeks I had seen almost NO Indian women. Men are everywhere but the women are hidden away. Very strange.

  3. RyanNo Gravatar UNITED STATES Says:

    Totally agree with Korea. They are as unhygienec as China and grow old to be bitter, suicidal housewives.

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