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If anyone still had any doubts, that for the right amount of money everything is for sale in Indonesia, here is to prove that theory.

Most tourists certainly experience the sellers and hawkers on Bali’s beaches and beyond. ‘Rolex, boss? Transport, transport? Girls? Magic Mushrooms?’ – it seems they are everywhere. You can’t avoid them and it’s THE major annoyance on the Island of the Gods.

If you are a ‘bule’ fresh off the plane, with that lovely pink teint of yours, they will spot you from miles away and like swarms of flies will be all over you before you can even say ‘Bintang’.

Nobody should be really surprised, that now also the Police wants to have more than their fair share of the tourist money, which is pouring into Bali this year more than ever.

So next time, when you come drunk home from one of Kuta’s famous nightlife and party joints, like Skygarden, Bounty, EngineRoom, Paddies, ViAiPi or Eikon, just try to flank down one of the cars of the ‘men in brown’. They are here to serve and to protect. and it would be probably the safest mode of transportation.

The Power of Money

Recently there was even an article in The Bali Times, that a wealthy business woman, who was convicted of fraud, was sentenced to spend 3 months in jail.

But what did she do? The convict simply paid a poor woman to impersonate her and spend the time instead of her in the ‘Bali Hilton’ in Kerobokan, while she herself was going on a longer holiday of absence.

The thing only came up, when relatives of the convicted woman wanted to visit her in jail and her substitute was shown to them instead.

Examples for those kind of arrangements here are legion. Even Shapelle Corby, the previous Australian Model – who was caught smuggling more than 4 kg of Marihuana into the country and sentenced to spend 20 years in Kerobokan’s most popular and thought-after facility – was seen more than once drinking Cappuccino in various Cafe’s in Bali. Other celebrities even took part in Tennis Tournaments here, all decked out with wigs and camouflaging sports gear. Ahhhh, the power of money!

So, what’s the right thing to do?

Of course, the best thing is to not get caught in any illegal activities, as it is even officially suggested by local authorities and governmental bodies.

Bali is not there yet, that you could be arrested and caned for kissing in public, like recently happened in Sumatra – or for publishing a magazine with pictures of fully closed women, even though you are licensed to naming it after the original with those bunny ears.

You can still Eat, Pray and Love here, like that blissful movie suggests.

Just don’t shoot movies of your inappropriate adult activities, as those files could easily find their way to the public internet, which is rumored to be currently under heavy scrutiny and censorship by the central government in Java.

Local Popstar Ariel Nazril Irham of popular Popband ‘Peter Pan’ is currently facing 12 years of jail for a years-old-romp with 2 females celebrities. The whole action was caught on camera and spread on the internet like wildfire. This could easily happen to you also, if you decide to bring your computer for repairs, or only just your handphone or blackberry with your star shots still on it.

You surely don’t want to be the one they will sing about: ‘Dan mungkin bila nanti kita kan bertemu lagi’.

Okay, back to topic – the picture with the ‘Police Car for Transport’ above was shot in the early morning hours in front of Pantai Doublesix, which is home of some famous nightlife spots like Bacio’s, DejaVu and La Vida Loca. The ‘owners’ of this police car in their neon-bright vests were standing smoking and chatting just meters away.

So, would you ask the Police to take you for a ride here? After all, the picture suggests that it would be perfectly possible and acceptable.

Or was it all only a joke by some jester with the right dose of humor, while the powers-that-be weren’t watching?

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written by Chris